Confessions of Household 6

During Deployment I am the Household 6 (the Commander of the house) while the husband is off doing what soldiers do best...protecting freedom and defending the nation, I have some confessions to make... 
Confession 1:  I feed my kids chicken nuggets more times than I care to count.

Confession 2:  I sit around in my pajamas and drink coffee WAY longer in the mornings because I know that nobody is going to care that my hair is a mess and I have no makeup on.

Confession 3:  I wear all the PJs my husband hates, like the flowery night gown he calls "the old lady nightgown".

Confession 4:  I leave the dishes in the sink longer.

Confession 5:  I don't shave my legs for long periods of time (sorry babe...I know you don't want to hear about this).

Confession 6:  I will often eat cookies for breakfast, coffee for lunch and cereal for dinner. But I make the kids chicken nuggets (see number 1).

Confession 7:  I avoid sad songs on the radio.

Confession 8:  I don't take out the trash as often as he did.

Confession 9:  I wear all the "granny panties" I want to!!


Confession 10:  I carry my cell phone on me at all times and have been known to even step into the shower with my phone in hand!

Confession 11:  I sleep right in the center of the bed, wearing a nice divet into the secret ploy to keep my husband close when he does finally get home!! "Oh honey, you love to snuggle!"  "Well ya'...but I can't get out of the mattress ditch!!"

Confession 12:  Deployment is the one time it is cool to be sniffing your husband's dirty laundry. Any last trace of his scent will be sniffed away. 

Confession 13:  I have 5 cartons of ice cream in my freezer right now...

Confession 14:  I fed my kids chicken nuggets...again...


Confession 15:  I will often delay bath time and bedtime if my kids are playing nicely, nobody is screaming, bleeding or jumping off of anything just so I can sneak in a few extra minutes of __________ (insert "Pinterest" "Facebook" "Phone call" "Gossip Girl" "Sneaking chocolate" or "Unburying myself from a pile of laundry or dishes"---my least favorite reason to use precious alone time).

Confession 16:  I wear the most hideous outfits to go out and shovel snow in.  Capri style yoga pants, no makeup, unbrushed hair, leg warmers, beanie, random scarf, big mittens with the hole from the snow shovel, snow boots and glasses!?  FASHION statement making time...and it never fails that the neighbors will be out and they'll want to talk.  Only time I ever see them too so of course they think "wow...deployment does NOT look good on Lea-Ann!!"

Confession 17:  I have left the Christmas lights on the little pine tree in the front yard even though I told the hubby I would never do that because I thought that lights after New Year was tacky.  That was before the little pine was buried in 5 feet of snow.  I will just unplug them and get them out in the Spring.

Confession 18:  I attempted to park the big old truck in the garage so it could defrost and instead ended up breaking a picture frame, knocking down a bunch of tools and scaring myself to death when I thought I had hit the beloved motorcycle. I will NEVER attempt that again!!

Confession 19:  Everything will break at once and just in the last few weeks it feels like it has;  Disposal, smoke detectors, camera, dvd players,phone on the fritz, (however, I did drop it in a pile of snow and two trucks ran it over) but STILL!! All at the same time or within a few days of each other.  Put on the work gloves and get busy fixing Mama!! I risked life, limb and eye sight cleaning glass out of the disposal, busting out some tools and fixing it all by my little self. 


(I warn you this is starting to become a bit like a diary...but I like it!  Read on...)

Confession 20:  The garbage disposal is out to get me, a kid sized cup got stuck in it last night.  I unplugged the beast then I twisted, prodded, pushed, banged, shoved, and begged the cup to come out but it did not move.  So I did what any exhausted Mom would do...I left it...yep, and the pot of mac n' cheese on the counter that was meant for the disposal.  Oh, and because the disposal was being a jerk this morning, the cereal that was supposed to head to the disposal instead turned into paper mache (or is it papier mache?  Remember that "Seinfeld" episode? PAP-eee-YAY mache? ahahaha) I called my Dad, the long winded handy man. See where I get it?  The long winded part, not the handy part...or both...did I say I was long winded? Yeah, about that. Dad and I had a break down in communication so I did what any desperate woman would do I CUT THE CUP with kitchen scissors, bent it out and called it a day.  The end.

Confession 21:  I love studded tires, absolutely feel invincible with my studded tires on my Mommy mobile.  A four door, 2002 Hyundai Sonata that looks like I picked it up from the junk yard.  Our trip here on the ALCAN Hwy my car was towed behind the husband's truck on a dolly.  Busted tire on the route, blew a hole in the back fender, knocked a piece of whatever that fancy trim/molding is on the side of my car door and busted a fog light. Add a couple large pits in the windshield from driving on the Alaskan highways and roads, one busted reverse light from hitting a snow bank and it is pretty safe to say my car is the ugliest thing on four wheels now.  But it runs...and I never (hardly never...except that one time) get stuck because I have studded tires!! 

Confession 22:  I also love that there are moose everywhere here, I ran up all thirty of my stairs down from the basement, at midnight the other night because I saw a moose lurking in the neighborhood and I wanted to bust out my camera and play "Moose Papparazzi."  Sadly, the moose sensed what I was up to and he went off and hid in the shadows. 

Confession 23:  You realize when your husband is gone for any length of time exactly what you are made of.  I found out last week that I can load 200 pounds of sand bags into the back of a pick up truck.  And because I am long winded...I won't tell you how I found that out.  Point being, deployment makes you tough, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically tough.  Don't ever doubt yourself, and if you do, find an awesome friend or two who can remind you of just how really cool, awesome and strong you are.  If you aren't feeling awesome and strong than let your friends hold you up for a minute or two, say a prayer, eat a chocolate, or an entire package of Oreos like I did, dust yourself off and try again.  (Psalm 23).


That's right Neil Patrick Harris..that is right!

Stay tuned as more Confessions are added to the list....   


Vanessa Gowett said...

As I am reading this post the "advertisement" on the side is for Julianna Rae- Fine silk sleepwear...I think its trying to tell you something!
A lot of this confessions are true for a single mommy too!

DK365 said...

That is too funny!! I think a pajama update is needed :)

Just me-Jerri said...

love forgot to mention the quick log in before you start your day or go to bed to see if they have logged more time, just in case or to make sure the news has no major news of which you hate to but feel the need to hear anyway. and by the way.......the side advertisement is for Victoria's Secret. Even your blog thinks the granny panties need to go.

Alicia Blumert said...

I'm loving this Lea-Ann!

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